Technology has occupied most of our time.
Getting children to do anything when at home has become such a struggle. Is it their responsibility to help out at home? Do they have a responsibility to organize their lives as children?
Our children may fail to acquire the skills that they are supposed to in the process of maturity because we are too busy as parents to notice or perform our God-given responsibility and instead we are too busy building our careers and worrying about our spouses. Meanwhile because of our failure our children fail to "grow up" because we did not provide the necessary support required in their developmental process for them to acquire skills that will make them independent in their adulthood. Growing is an upward process in which we learn skills day by day that keep us becoming better and better human beings.
With #Peterpan# or #Wendys# syndrome our children grow physically but character-wise they behave like dependent children who need everything done for them. signs of this syndrome include lack of commitment in relationships or any form of employment, they keep jumping from one career to another, they are at one time committed to a relationship the next minute they are bored, they don't care about orderliness, they live in cluttered or unhygienic environments, basically the world around them is someone else's responsibility, not theirs.
Let's think back and revisit our childhood training. We potty trained them, we trained them to walk and talk, we trained them to master their first language, and then after that, they learned to take a bath on their own. What else did we train them? Most likely as soon as they joined school we stopped at that and transferred our responsibility to the teachers and househelp.
Being responsible in adulthood does not just happen, it's a culmination of skills that have been acquired as one grows into maturity thus becoming a responsible adult.
When we go to school we generally learn all subjects up to a level when we are mature enough to branch into our individual interests.
There is no harm in boys learning to #cook# or girls learning to #hunt#. We should avoid creating specific gender roles especially when it comes to household chores. Children should be exposed to as many responsibilities as possible from an early age.
We parents should design our parenting to deliberately focus on bringing up responsible children.
We always want our children to get the best even when we know they are not the best. we choose friends for them, we choose the families they relate with, we want the best school and the best of everything. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for our children in fact that is the dream of every child, to have a parent who gives them all they want.
What is the reality like? We may not be able to provide everything. In fact not being able to have everything is part of the skills that our children should learn. What you have acquired as parents over the years is yours, our children should learn to independently acquire what they can call their own.
As a parent. you have a choice to bring up your child the way you feel is best. As you do so remember that this child will one day be an adult and what they will carry with them is what you have trained them to be. Be a protective parent by training children to protect themselves first ( choose friends wisely, avoid risky environments, confined in you anytime they feel threatened). Allow them to learn to do things for themselves (wash clothes, clean their rooms, make their bed, keep the house clean, and cook their own food)
Having rules that have consequences can start a child on the path to maturity. Our biggest distractor is the media. Addiction to media can affect the performance of a child and their ability to participate in household chores. The use of media should be limited and that should begin with us the adults. In the next post, I will look at the possible consequences of the two syndromes. Let's keep the conversation going.
